you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
