Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
