I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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