You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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