btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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