I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
