I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize