Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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