so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
