Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
