I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize