i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize