Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
How's work?
Spinning.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
