Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
