so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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