it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
