Texts From Last Night

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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?

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  (337): but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp? http://tfl.nu/p1my
  Replies (28) Good night (1351) Bad night (5956)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.

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  (812): These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now. http://tfl.nu/s4lf
  Replies (7) Good night (1117) Bad night (2837)
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  (209): View more from California

  nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw

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  (209): nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw http://tfl.nu/vicw
  Replies (74) Good night (5180) Bad night (1465)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.

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  (214): If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/n8v9
  Replies (6) Good night (2390) Bad night (1001)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?

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  (402): Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out? http://tfl.nu/j98q
  Replies (14) Good night (659) Bad night (3012)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.

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  (856): Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes. http://tfl.nu/sl8l
  Replies (2) Good night (1034) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do

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  (615): there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do http://tfl.nu/2r0x
  Replies (4) Good night (753) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  was I really that bad?

  (616): View more from Michigan

  you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage

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  (231): was I really that bad? (616): you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage http://tfl.nu/4ubm
  Replies (1) Good night (807) Bad night (468)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.

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  (301): Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask. http://tfl.nu/cyae
  Replies (4) Good night (556) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!

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  (920): I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me! http://tfl.nu/kvcq
  Replies (7) Good night (759) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Why do you hate her?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....

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  (601): Why do you hate her? (1-601): She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina..... http://tfl.nu/0u28
  Replies (1) Good night (878) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables

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  (616): My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables http://tfl.nu/sfy3
  Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.

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  (404): We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops. http://tfl.nu/nz3t
  Replies (0) Good night (648) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.

  (1-226): View more from Ontario

  I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.

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  (226): Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor. (1-226): I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again. http://tfl.nu/8udg
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.

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  (443): So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room. http://tfl.nu/u3av
  Replies (4) Good night (756) Bad night (270)

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