We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
