Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
