Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

and?

(609): View more from New Jersey

RIP clitoris

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(217): View more from Illinois

we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW

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(914): View more from New York

Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...

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(347): View more from New York

I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time

(1-347): View more from New York

Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water

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