Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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