He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
