Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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