It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
