Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
