I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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