I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
