I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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