Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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