Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
