How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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