I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
