shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
