Heybabeimwearingurpanties
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
