just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
