It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
