3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
