maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
