The maid of honor just puked.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize