i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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