your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize