Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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