can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
