They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I am available for nakedness
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize