ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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