Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
