okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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