Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize