Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Two words: blizzard sex
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
