They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
