Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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