Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
