I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize