her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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