i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
