how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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