Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
