He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
