This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
