I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My life is pants optional.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
