i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
