fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Randomize
