You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
