So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
