we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
