Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
