I don't usually arrange sex via text message
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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